That Damned Mask
by themiller
Summary: But, as great as those moments were, as exhilarating a feeling it was to truly make a difference in the life of another, most of the time, when he was sitting in his room, brooding over his life, he hated the mask.


**A/N: And now, to new beginnings! Sort of anyways!**

**I know that I've never done a Spider-Man fic before, but seeing as the guy is MY HERO (not even kidding; when people ask who I want to be, I say Peter Parker), I feel like I should write a story about him.  
**

**Peter/Gwen!**

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Sometimes, Peter loved the mask.

Those were the times when he was resting on a rooftop, simply watching over his beloved city. Or when he had just saved the life of a small child; and the look of pure innocence and gratitude felt better than anything in the world. Or when he was in mid flip, making another attempt at breaking his triple-jump somersault record.

They were times when everything felt right in the world, when he knew things were going to be great. When he knew that his Uncle Ben would have been proud of him.

But, as great as those moments were, as exhilarating a feeling it was to truly make a difference in the life of another, most of the time, when he was sitting in his room, brooding over his life, he hated the mask.

Peter hated the fact that the mask had only come about through the deaths of both of his fathers, one death enabling his powers, the other death enabling the purpose of those powers.

Peter hated the fact that the mask put those he loved in danger. Granted, at this point, the only person he let close enough for enemies to possibly identify her with him was Aunt May, and he had put every thinkable precaution into action to ensure the connection between New York's favorite hero and May Parker was never made. But still, the risk was always run that someone would find out who hid behind that cursed mask, and then his Aunt would be doomed.

Peter hated the mask for being so addictive, so time consuming. He no longer had free time to spend with his aunt, or with anyone really. He only had time for swinging his skinny ass all across the Big Apple, making gigantic efforts to clean up his home.

But Peter mostly hated the mask for taking Gwen away from him. In his lower moments, he often dreamed of what would have happened between them if Spider-Man had never existed. He saw long nights sitting on her fire escape; dinner dates at Douglaston's Il Tascono; nights on rooftops, just watching the stars.

He dreamt of Prom, the two of them going for the sole reason that they would have the time of their lives ridiculing the entire thing. Giggling at the horrible dance routines, chuckling at the cheesy one-liners, snickering at the hands that strayed from "appropriate" areas, and outright laughing at the proclamation of undying love.

And then Peter would see graduation, the two of them both ending up at Empire State University, just like it was supposed to be. He saw progression, promises, and potential.

Peter next envisioned Miss Stacy walking down the aisle towards him, preparing to forfeit her last name for his own, another, final promise of a never-ending story.

Finally, Peter Parker would see the baby; _their _baby. He normally wasn't one to think about such things, but Gwen Stacy did that to him; if there was one person he would lay down the brick house and white picket fence for, it was her.

But as he saw that little bundle of joy being lifted towards him, the dream would always shatter in the onslaught of his alter-ego. That mask prevented any chance of that ever happening for him.

Yes, Peter hated the mask. He hated it with all his heart, his mind, and his soul.

But he couldn't give it up. And not because of some misguided sense that the world would end without him; there were other people who would rise to the occasion if he wasn't there.

No, Peter Parker wouldn't give up that damned red and blue mask because that mask was a part of him now. He wasn't Peter Parker anymore; not really. Peter Parker had died the same night Ben Parker did. In Peter's place was left a stronger, better, more logical man. A man who would sacrifice his own happiness to continue protecting others and those he loved.

Of course, dear reader, that flash of blond hair that we just glimpsed through Spidey's window may be an indicator that the mask is the object of Peter's hatred no longer.

Even so, however, Spider-Man will eventually learn that heroics and relationships come with a bloody, bloody price.

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**A/N: SO, if you didn't catch that prediction at the end, here's an explanation.**

**And for those of you who have some misguided belief that Gwen Stacy+Peter Parker is going last forever, here's a wakeup call.**

**Unfortunately, at some point during Andrew Garfield's run as the ASM, Gwen Stacy must die. It's gotta happen. And why is that? **

**Because a promise to a dying police captain that spent most of his time trying to capture you isn't going to last at ALL!**

**Peter has to have real proof that being a superhero is extremely risky for those around him, and that being near him is having a death wish!**

**Agree or disagree with me in your reviews!**


End file.
